Making More Love
by Lisa Schrader
Isn’t it delightful when
something that feels good is also good for you? A recent issue
of Time Magazine focuses on good news: how your love life keeps
you healthy. Time reports, “Studies are showing that arousal
and an active sex life may lead to a longer life, better heart
health, an improved ability to ward off pain, a more robust immune
system and even protection against certain cancers not to mention
lower rates of depression.”
But most of us aren’t
rushing into each others arms for cardiovascular health. We come
together in love making for connection, intimacy, fun, and a
myriad of other complex needs and desires. One thing is certain,
we are born sexual beings and we require touch and tenderness
in order to thrive. But what confusing messages we receive about
this natural and healthy part ourselves. We live in a culture
both obsessed with sex and negative about its expression. Where
do we go for guidance?
My husband and I turned to
the ancient practice of Tantric Sexuality.
We’ve been partners for over 17 years now. Although our
lovemaking was always good, we knew it could be great. We intuitively
knew that there was something more. In the past, our communication
about sexuality often led to conflict. We would fall into old
patterns of blaming and making each other wrong for what wasn’t
working. The impact on us was frustration, sadness, and feeling
separate, stuck, and resigned.
Our study of Tantric sexual
and energy practices slowly began to transform our relationship.
We learned how to see lovemaking not as an event with a race
to a climatic finish line, but as a process of being present
to ever-expanding states of feeling and ecstasy. We learned to
express appreciation, open our hearts, and see the Divinity that
resides in each other. We now offer workshops to share what we’ve
learned with others.
Tantra was born in India 7,000
years ago as a rebellion against the moralistic codes of the
Hindu religion. Although in the West, Tantra has been associated
almost exclusively with sexuality, true Tantra is a spiritual
path and sexuality is but a small part of the whole. The ultimate
goal of Tantra is love. The body and sexuality are vehicles for
enlightenment instead of being seen as something to be denied
and suppressed. Tantra embraces all and rejects nothing. It reminds
us that we are already whole and complete; the energy and ecstasy
in our body are sacred and Divine.
There is a wave of conscious
change moving through our world. We are learning to better honor
the earth and embrace the feminine qualities of heart, compassion,
and cooperation. Tantra gives us tools for creating transformation
where it matters most: in our own lives and families.
