Most couples experience frustration and even loneliness at some point in their relationship.  Minor irritations have a way of building into insurmountable blocks to intimacy over time.  Unfortunately, we don't learn how to do a relationship in school.  We are expected to simply know how to sustain love over the years and that just isn't how things work in the real world.  Instead, over half of all marriages end in divorce and those who remain married are not always shining examples of marital bliss.

But it is never too late to start learning the incredibly simple steps which can produce the kind of friendship and passion you envisioned when you first said "I do."  The secret to long-term happiness in the context of any relationship, whether married or not, lies in three crucial factors:

1. An ability to be Honest with yourself

2. The Courage to claim the happiness you deserve

3. Faith that life is meant to be a win/win proposition

The fact is that we live in a culture which thrives on negativity.  Most of our so-called "reality" TV models verbal violence as an ordinary and almost necessary tool for survival - literally if the contestants happen to be on a "survival" show.  Our music pounds away at us with lyrics which skewer the competition or past lovers with words meant to humiliate and conquer.  School age children have begun to bully their classmates on the internet with entire websites devoted to dismantling their intended victim's self-esteem and social standing.

So it should come as no surprise when you find yourself saying hurtful things to your partner in the heat of an argument or disagreement.  You have been in training for this communication style for years just by virtue of being exposed to the culture.  And you will have to devote more than a few minutes  in order to learn a more successful communication style.  But the good news is that there are very specific steps you can take to start enjoying the love you always wanted.  And if you do your homework you can and will see immediate results!

I teach a communication style specifically developed for couples in crisis which works equally well for small disagreements and major conflicts.  You don't have to delve into your childhoods - although that can be very helpful too.  And you don't have to spend years in therapy or couple's counseling attempting to improve your relationship dynamics.  Instead, you can follow a formula which will lead to success very quickly - IF you follow that formula.  And there is the rub.  The steps are so simple many couples think they can skip them and when they do, they are back where they started: frustrated and lonely.  But once they get back on track with the simple steps I teach, they once again experience relief, peace of mind, connection with their partner and ultimately compassion - which is the safety we are all looking for in an intimate relationship.

The good news is that you do not have to settle.  There is no reason your romantic life can't be everything you hoped for.  The way to success requires courage and a little work, but the payoff is enormous.  When I first experienced it, it brought tears of joy to my eyes.  I couldn't believe my husband was finally hearing my feelings and giving me the validation and love I had craved all my life.  I would like to help you make that same level of joy a reality in your life.

You may have seen Veronica Monet featured on FOX40 (Sacramento) as a relationship expert or heard her interviewed on KVMR’s The Woman Show on several occasions.  In addition to local media, Veronica Monet appears frequently in national media including CNN, A&E, FOX, CNBC, Women’s Entertainment Network and The New York Times magazine.

Veronica Monet, ACS offers Conflict Resolution for Couples and The Passion Forever Formula at her Nevada City office (on Providence Mine Road!) and over the telephone.  Call 888.903.0050 or 415.294.5069 to schedule your appointment.