Pushing Towards Patience -Nancy G. Shapiro, CPC

In Ambrose Bierce's 1911 Devil's Dictionary, patience is defined as "a minor form of despair, disguised as a virtue." One day last week I was feeling a bit despairing after leaving two voice messages and one email at the office of a stranger whose advice and information would help me finish a mailing. When the receptionist had actually asked my name on the second call, I'd anticipated speaking to the person I wanted to contact, yet when the call clicked once again into voice mail, unproductive thoughts began to creep into my internal dialogue.

I wanted her to call me back now...not having patience, the ability to "bear or endure without complaint" was allowing the tricky energy of that 'minor despair' to impact my thoughts, which were spiraling downward as the minutes ticked by. After writing the email, I listened to the increasing negativity and believed it—for about two hours—watching my previously joyful mood fade, and the enthusiasm for my juicy, creative project disappear. Impatience took over, and I began to complete the mailing without this person's information.

Then the phone rang.

It was the stranger. She was kind. She was full of advice. She was supportive of my endeavor. In the end, she offered a chance to contact another person, an opportunity that would never have occurred if I'd gone ahead without speaking with her.

There's a saying: The door to opportunity is always labeled "Push." Yet pushing against the natural pace and flow of things, not allowing others the gracious fact of busy schedules and full lives, and letting unproductive thoughts sabotage my own life-force and that of my endeavors can block surprising opportunities.

Patience also means "constancy in effort." Constancy is a type of "pushing" that feeds and nourishes, a persistence and perseverance that propels me toward a goal, or dream, or solution. Allowing and nurturing patience in my daily life is, as with most things, a choice. I wrote the following poem to remember—to feel—the difference between a pushing that hinders, and a patience that nourishes me:

Push push push against the face of a mountain—

spread hands burn from the heat.

Push push push against time allotted for each task—

feet swell with blisters.

Push push push against the vagaries of stillness and wind—

loud noise.

Push push push against the shoulds and oughts of others—

shoulders ache and sweat.

Push push push against nothing—

quails hop branch to branch

the dove remains still.